Why Willow Gives Me Nightmares


I’m not joking when I say that I’ve watched Willow’s three vignettes a combined fifty times.  I’m a 31-year grown-ass adult and there’s been something about the minute-long clips that really creep me out.  I’ve devoted nearly an hour of my life just watching these clips, trying to sort things out.  In case you’re not familiar, here’s the most recent one from Impact Wrestling last night…

Sure, he thrashing about; there are fake skeletons and what appears to be a rubber revolver.  Once again, kooky poetry and the umbrella.  Zombie eyes… typical Jeff Hardy face paint.  The background music is a little creepy, I guess.  But, I figured out last night that there’s one thing that holds it together for me: The voice.

Then, a most traumatic and repressed childhood memory washed back over me.  It’s one shared by many adults between the approximate ages of 29 and 37…


Willow’s voice in the vignettes is made to sound eerily similar to the Boogeyman of the Real Ghostbusters.

He was a giant monster who wore a tuxedo coat and bowtie… with fangs and batwings for ears, and hooves, and that wheezing-screeching voice… in an otherwise fun show meant for CHILDREN!  Let me put it this way – if the Boogeyman that my generation grew up with was worked into the dreck that passes for Saturday morning cartoons these days, there would be riots in the streets.  Mother hens and supermoms would have out the letterhead before the episode was done, calling for sponsor boycotts.  Pitchforks and torches would march upon TV stations.  The current young generation would know sleepless nights that never ended.

I’m back.  My point is that the Boogeyman freaked me the hell out enough that the voice haunts me to this day.  Well done, TNA.  You have my attention.

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