Frog vs Shark: Elimination Chamber Edition

The chamber claims it’s victims indiscriminately, the same way the Frog chooses his meals. Unforgiving, brutal, and career shortening. It’s time again for the unique contest where the reigning champion enters as an odds on favorite to lose their title.

The matches on tonight’s PPV card feature a who’s who of who wants to be at the top of the card.

  • John Cena vs. Kane (Ambulance Match)
  • Raw Elimination Chamber Match (CM Punk [C], Kofi Kingston, Dolph Ziggler, The Miz, R Truth, Chris Jericho)
  • SmackDown Elimination Chamber Match (Daniel Bryan [C], Great Khali, Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Santino Marella, Big Show)
  • Divas Champion Beth Phoenix vs. Tamina Snuka

The last handful of PPV events haven’t had a scheduled Divas match, yet one was featured. With a card that is always subject to change, we’re left to wonder if there will be any surprises tonight. Brodus Clay got to have a squash match at the Rumble, does he get camera time tonight?

Also, did anyone else notice Sheamus is featured in the promo for tonight, yet he isn’t scheduled to appear?

Tonight brings a brand of caged metal destruction that would make Erik Lensherr jealous. Speaking of jealousy, let’s get to the predictions and the most heated rivalry since Goldberg and Gillberg: FROG vs SHARK!

John Cena vs. Kane

Frog: WWE’s cartooniest feud, with two of its biggest cartoon characters will battle it out in an attitude era styled exhibition. I would imagine  we’ll be seeing and hearing from Zack Ryder and Eve before this bout as they’ve been key players in Kane’s efforts to get Cena to “embrace the hate.” I wonder what kind of crazy medical device they’ll have Ryder rigged up in tonight? I think this will be a real slugfest of a match with lots of brawling on the ramp, backstage and of course by the ambulance itself. Prediction: There’s just no stopping John Cena, short of lighting him on fire. Kane will not be able to keep the leader of the Cenation down, no matter what he throws at him. At the end Cena will hit Kane with an Attitude Adjustment onto or through something which will make throwing him in the ambulance a piece of cake. Cena’s got to look good heading into his match with The Rock, and beating Kane will allow him to get some credibility on his side. Although it will certainly kill any momentum Kane built with his return. Winner: John Cena.

Shark: An ambulance match, huh? Is that how we add the extra wrinkle to elongate this feud? John Cena is the ultimate good who cannot and will not falter to Kane and his special brand of evil skulduggery. Hate be damned, an Ambulance match is all aggression. I’d prefer they give John a little vacation while he marks time until his match with the Rock and Wrestlemania 28, but instead they will polarize the fans even further. John doesn’t hate half the fanbase, but half the fanbase pretends to hate John. Bottom line, I am losing my vigor for colorful analogy with this feud. It’s been drawn out for a few months, and has been mostly as tool to keep Zack Ryder out of competition. Kane got over on Cena at the Rumble, so hands down John will be out for blood. Prediction: They battle all over the arena, through the crowd, tear apart craft services, and back out the ramp again. Kane will dominate but John, super powered and fueled with rage, will counter and recover. It will take some sort of supplemental involvement to fell a demon, but it happens. Doors shut. Winner: John Cena.

Beth Phoenix vs. Tamina Snuka

Shark: The Divas division needs a push. Well at least that’s what we’re told over and over again by anyone previously or currently IN the Divas division. Kharma returned at the Rumble, but she hasn’t been seen in a month and no one talked about it. That leaves the two other larger women to carry the burden. Tamina has been feuding with Natalya, who is normally buds with Beth Phoenix, who is a douchebag according to CM Punk. Understandably so, all of that got us to this match. Prediction: while most of us go to the kitchen to refresh a drink or a snack during this match, the Frog will pull his shades and continue to bring shame upon his family. Winner: Beth Phoenix via outside interference.

Frog: Beth Phoenix will be taking on her most legit threat in some time, Tamina Snuka. WWE’s done a good job of establishing Tamina as a legit contender through a series of matches with Natalya and the rest of the Divas Division. While they certainly won’t get a ton of time, I’m hoping they make the most of what they’re given. I think this will be above average for a divas match, and hopefully it’ll have a creative finish, like that top rope glam slam from a few months back. I’m just crossing my fingers we don’t get any farts from Natalya. Prediction: Natalya will be ejected from ringside early on, if she even comes out at all, either way Beth and Her will continue to have tension between them. Tamina Snuka will put up a valiant effort, even hitting the splash, but will still come up short. Winner: Beth Phoenix retains.

SmackDown Elimination Chamber Match

Frog: This should be an interesting match, because of the last minute loss of Randy Orton. I’m hoping that Santino’s inclusion is a stop gap until they can do a swerve on the pay per view. I’d love to see Christian return, but I’d be just as happy to see Mark Henry in there. I think this match will be the end of Daniel Bryan’s reign as World Champion. He’s a hell of a wrestler and getting to be a pretty decent heel, but they need someone else in there for Wrestlemania. Prediction: I think Big Show will finally get a measure of revenge on Bryan, possibly “injuring” him in the match, making the loss out of Daniel’s control. That paves the way for Wade Barrett to outlast his competition by picking his spots to strike out at the rest of the challengers. Winner: Wade Barrett via pinfall, last eliminating The Big Show. At the end Sheamus comes to the top of the ramp and gestures toward the new champ and the Wrestlemania sign.

Shark: Daniel Bryan enters tonight’s Chamber match as Champion. A year ago that would be the most unlikely of calls to make. Oh, add in the Great Khali will be competing in a main event match alongside Santino Marella with the WHC title on the line and this is probably the swerve of all swerves. The only way I can make sense of it, is Khali is needed to balance out the Big Show. Putting Paul Wight in the match alone makes him the favorite to win, and some balance must be brought to the Force. However Khali cannot really wrestle. Hence Bryan, Barrett, and Rhodes will do all the heavy lifting. Santino I suppose is due a little attention for all his bits and bumps, but he really is not a credible contender. Much like the Rumble, you can’t predict spots in this style of match as well. But unlike a regular bout, we are guaranteed a clear winner. Prediction: Santino and Khali do exactly what we would expect of Santino and Khali, and prove to be a non-factor, except for neutralizing the Big Show. Rhodes has an amazing showing, but the real bout comes down to Bryan and Barrett. Trapped inside the circus ring, Barrett finds a way to opportune moment for victory pinning Santino. Winner: The Barrett Barrage moves on and targets the Great White for Wrestlemania.

Raw Elimination Chamber Match

Shark: This version of the Chamber match has a little more Star power involved, and some of the biggest ego’s in the WWE as well. Four men in this match are former World Champions, with R Truth and Kofi Kingston being Cinderella fifth and sixth men. However, there are more credible contenders for the strap in this match. Miz COULD have another title run. Jericho is never not in contention for the strap. Ziggler has been built up for months and is very much due a larger spotlight. Punk, however, is the target. Reigning champ, and most over with the crowd. The entire match revolves around him. With the #ShowOff in the ring, we know we’ll get our moneys worth for the night. I’m looking forward to a clash between Jericho and Miz though. There is some great shtick waiting to happen here, again. Prediction: This is where the show is stolen. Of course Dolph has a heavy hand in that. He will take all of Y2J and Punks biggest offense, and hopefully be responsible for destroying Kofi’s chances for a win. Miz and Truth clash in a big way to capitalize on all the smarks knowing Miz was responsible for Truth’s bad bump. Punk doesn’t get pinned, but loses the strap and the World as we know it is finally changed. Winner: Chris Jericho.

Frog: The Raw version of the Elimination Chamber certainly has more in the way of star power than Smackdown’s and all of its participants have issues with one another, outside of Kofi Kingston. I think this match will all be about one-upsmanship, each wrestler trying to out do the other. I think we’ll see Ziggler, “Showing Off” and CM Punk proving to Jericho why he now calls himself, “Best in the World.” Predicition: Lots of big spots with innovative uses of the chamber environment. I would expect Kofi to do something really cool, but ultimately get eliminated. Miz and R-Truth will take each other out of the equation for much of the match, given their past history. As Punk and Jericho stare each other down after eliminating Miz, Ziggler catches Y2J off guard for a surprise elimination, turns around into a GTS from Punk who retains. Winner: CM Punk, who will go on to feud with Jericho at Wrestlemania.

2 Comments on "Frog vs Shark: Elimination Chamber Edition"

  1. Marcus L. says:

    Cena vs. Kane: Cena
    Raw Elimination Chamber: Chris Jericho
    SD Elimination Chamber: Daniel Bryan
    Tamina vs. Beth Phoenix: Beth Phoenix

  2. Dave says:

    “Punk doesn’t get pinned, but loses the strap and the World as we know it is finally changed. Winner: Chris Jericho.”

    Everyone has to be eliminated. This isn’t first fall wins it. So how do you expect Punk to be eliminated?

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